Coming up with a name for our child is not proving to be a joyful part of this pregnancy. By the time we’ve excluded what we consider to be “made-up” names, plus anything that really doesn’t work with our surname, we’ve already narrowed it down quite a lot. We don’t want our child to share their name with every other child in their class at school, but nor do we want something so unusual that it raises eyebrows. Then we have to contend with the fact that working with the public has given me negative associations for an awful lot more names. And don’t forget we eventually have to agree. One of us liking something isn’t really enough.

The leading boy’s name for now appears to be “nameless”. Has a certain ring to it, I think.

By comparison, coming up with a nickname for the bump was very easy, in that it just sort of happened. I didn’t consciously want to nickname our baby before it is born, but it does become hard work constantly referring to it as “the baby” or “him or her” (since we don’t know which variety we’re getting). And “it” just feels a bit impersonal. Equally though, I didn’t want to call it “bump”, “bean” or “flump”, because that is what every other…. well, bump, bean and flump, is called.

Somehow, our little one came to be referred to as Flangelina.

If I tell you part of the reason why, you’ll probably be right on the phone to Social Services demanding to know who let us get pregnant and ensuring they are fully aware of the sort of parents that are about to be unleashed on an unsuspecting unborn baby. But I’ll tell you anyway.

It comes down to the fact that “Flange” is one of Ian’s favourite words. And somehow a joke started that we should give our baby a good engineering related name… like Flangelina. It never failed to raise a giggle. (I can hear you dialling…. What can I say? We’re silly like that!)

It’s certainly stuck. We both refer to the baby as Flangelina, and address my belly as Flangelina too.

I’ll apologise to you now, baby. Especially if you happen to be a boy baby. But it could have been worse. Your Daddy also likes the Wankel Rotary Engine….


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